Searching for the Light
by Forlorn Hope
Summary: Anzu's life is gradually falling apart, and she turns suicidal. Who will help her...? And what happens when worst comes to worst, and Anzu is landed in the hospital because of a sudden heart disease...!
1. Over the Edge

Hey, peoples! I've finally thought up of a plot for a fic that I thought may be at least slightly interesting. Ahh...I'm so nervous! This is my first fic! I'll make a complete fool of myself...;;; Anyways, please read and review, and no flames! I'm sensitive, and it's my first fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
Chapter One: Over the Edge  
  
Anzu flinched at her report card. B+ in science again...Her mother was going to kill her.  
  
"What did you get, Anzu?" Yu-Gi asked curiously.  
  
Anzu looked down at Yu-Gi and put on a fake smile to hide her doubts, so as not to worry the little one. "Well..."  
  
She handed her report card to Yu-Gi. He skimmed over it briefly before giving it back to her and cheerfully exclaiming, "That's great, Anzu! Good job!"  
  
Anzu beamed. Yu-Gi always made people feel better about themselves. "Thanks, Yu-Gi." The two looked over at Tristan and Joey, who were poring over their report cards also.  
  
"Ha! Two A's, Tristan! Bet you can't beat that!" Joey puffed himself up proudly.  
  
"Oh yeah? Four A's!" Tristan said, deliberately flaunting his report card in Joey's face.  
  
"Oh yeah?!" Joey retorted.  
  
"Yeah!!" The two promptly got in a dust cloud fight. Yu-Gi and Anzu watched from the sidelines. Anzu shook her head and smiled, sweatdropping. She walked over to Ryou, the last of the gang.  
  
"Hey, Ryou! You've been kinda quite. What'd you get?" Anzu asked, smiling brightly.  
  
"Oh, hello, Anzu. Nothing special, the same A's," Ryou replied.  
  
Anzu beamed. "Great job!" 'If only I had grades like you, Ryou.' she thought sadly.  
  
"Thanks!"  
  
"Everyone ready to go?" Yu-Gi asked. Joey and Tristan, who had gotten over their fight and packed up their backpacks, nodded. Yu-Gi looked over to Anzu and Ryou. "You guys ready?" They nodded.  
  
The gang exited the school and began walking home. On the way, they chatted about various things, like Duel Monsters. Whenever they reached someone's house, the person would slip off, waving goodbye. Soon, only Ryou and Anzu were left. They walked a bit more in silence before Anzu's house came into view.  
  
"Well, goodbye, Anzu!" Ryou said, waving.  
  
"Bye, Ryou!" Anzu shouted, waving back as she walked to her front door.  
  
Once inside, she leaned against the door, sighing heavily. She just couldn't seem to raise up her science grade, no matter what. She ran upstairs to her room and quickly changed. Then, she laid out her homework. She glanced over at the Shining Friendship clock above her bed. "4:10," it read. Two more hours till her mom came home...Anzu gulped nervously and started her homework as the minutes ticked by...  
  
- - -  
  
"Anzu! I'm home!" Anzu heard the slam of a door downstairs and a voice shout. She ran downstairs to meet her mother.  
  
"Hi, Mom," Anzu greeted.  
  
"Hello, honey. Let me get changed and ready and I'll fix dinner! Now, I'm sure you have lots of homework! I'll let you go and finish, okay?" Mrs. Mazaki chirped cheerfully.  
  
Anzu happily complied and disappeared back into her room. She wasn't fooled by her mom's behavior...She could be happy and nice right now, but when she got mad...Anzu shuddered. Her mother had reduced her self-esteem drastically over the years. Anzu picked up her pencil and once again began her math homework.  
  
- - -  
  
It was after dinner, and the dishes had been taken care of. Mrs. Mazaki tiredly slumped down onto a couch. "Anzu, bring me your report card, please," she said.  
  
Anzu gulped. It now came down to this...She quickly ran upstairs, retrieved her report card, and made her way back down.  
  
"Here it is, Mom," she managed to say in a slightly shaky voice. Anzu handed her report card to her mother.  
  
Mrs. Mazaki took no notice of Anzu's behavior and skimmed through her report card. Anzu nervously waited in front of her. Finally, Mrs. Mazaki looked up from the paper to glare at Anzu. "Anzu, how many times do I have to tell you??!! No B's!!" she yelled.  
  
"I tried my best...Isn't B+ good enough...? It's almost an A..." Anzu replied meekly, wincing at the utter hate in her mother's eyes.  
  
"NO!! You need all A's!!" Mrs. Mazaki boomed.  
  
Anzu couldn't fight the urge to roll her eyes. Her mother's rants were getting old.  
  
"Don't you be smart with me!!!" Mrs. Mazaki raged, standing up and slapping Anzu with a loud crack.  
  
Anzu brought her hand up, clutching her red cheek, tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall. 'No...I can't give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry...' Anzu thought helplessly. But, try as she might, she still could not stop the crystalline drops of water from escaping from under her eyelids. Anzu raced up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She collapsed on her bed, tears streaming freely down her face.  
  
Anzu lay there, sobbing silently, for a long time. All her life, she had been put down and hit by her mother. Anzu's hopes and dreams were continuously being crushed by her. This was the last straw...She needed to somehow end this pain. It was like icy daggers plunging into her heart. It needed to stop. She needed release.  
  
Finally, the tears stopped coming. Sadness was replaced by anger and an unreasonable hate of the world. She wanted revenge for the pain she was going through. Suddenly, an inspiration struck her. Anzu quietly stole down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her mother had long since gone off to bed, leaving Anzu to cry herself to sleep.  
  
Anzu made her way to a certain drawer and opened it. An array of knives stared back at her. Their blades gleamed alluringly in the moonlight seeping in through the blinds of the kitchen window. Anzu grabbed a small cutting knife and hurried back into her room.  
  
Once inside, she quietly closed the door behind her and climbed onto her bed. Anzu looked down at her slender, pale arms. She took a deep breath, grasped the knife with her left hand, and quickly swiped the blade across her right arm. At first, an unbearable pain shot through her. Anzu bit her lip, trying very hard not to scream out in agony. Slowly, the pain subsided and Anzu began to like the feeling. She slashed some more at her arms. Blood poured out from her wounds, staining her pajamas crimson.  
  
Just as she was reaching to cut her left arm for the fourth time, she fainted from blood loss. Anzu's right hand, clutching the knife, dangled loosely over her bed. Her arms smothered the bed with the red liquid that was still flowing out. Droplets of blood dripped onto the carpet. Anzu Mazaki had finally been pushed over the edge.  
  
~*~  
  
Okay...so how was that? Good? Horrible? Please read and review!! Thanks! 


	2. A Night Adventure

Sorry this took so long, guys! I couldn't decide what to make this chapter about, plus I had to write it! ^^; Also, before I start my next chappie, I'd like to thank my great reviewers!  
  
Leigh--Thank you for the review! And no, Anzu will be in the hospital later on...  
  
sb1--Thank you very much for your review!  
  
American BadAss--Thank you! And, sorry, I just like spelling it 'Yu-Gi'. It looks neat, and I like things neat and orderly. ^^;  
  
Karigan--Thank you, and don't worry. I won't let Anzu die; she's one of my favorite characters too.  
  
Peppermint-Angel--Thanks for the review!  
  
lili--Thank you so much for the review!! It was really flattering! I am so honored to be reviewed by you!!! -squeals- Lol Well, maybe your parents saw what they wanted on your report card, so...they're moving on! Yes, I agree, slashing your arms is not the best thing to do, but it fits my plot. ^_~  
  
K-chan--Thanks for the review!  
  
liteblossomyugiliver--Thank you for the review. Yeah, I love Anzu too! ^^  
  
C. M. Dracoon--Thank you very much for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
blu sprite--Thanks for the review!! -shrug- Uh...I thought it was pretty screwed up. Ehehe...^^;;  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
Chapter Two: A Night Adventure  
  
Anzu groaned, waking up to find herself bloodied up on her bed. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and glanced over at the digital clock on her bed stand. 3:04...Anzu was about to fall back asleep when a thought ran across her mind. What if her mom came in to wake her up for school and found her like this?! Ohh...She'd surely be in trouble!! Anzu grabbed the knife that she had been clutching in her hand and made her way into the bathroom. She proceeded to clean the blade off, washing her arms in the process. Then, she took a tissue, dampened it a little, and went back into her room to dab at the mess she had created on the carpet. Anzu then noticed the blood smears on her bed sheets. Sighing, she tossed the tissue away and gathered the sheets. She carried them into the bathroom, where she began scrubbing away at the blood-stained blankets...  
  
It was 4:18 when Anzu climbed back into bed--this time with dry, clean sheets--and went to sleep again, exhausted.  
  
- - -  
  
"Anzu!! Wake up, it's time to go to school!" Anzu's mother called from downstairs. Anzu yawned and sat up, blinking a few times to get the sleep out of her eyes. She walked into her bathroom, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. She then put on her school uniform back in her room. 'Thank God our school has long-sleeved jackets as part of the uniform...' Anzu winced slightly, looking down at her arms. Her wounds had almost healed, leaving many scars.  
  
Once downstairs, Anzu grabbed a piece of toast, hoisted her backpack onto her shoulder, and started walking to Yu-Gi's house. She munched on her toast on the way. Finally, Yu-Gi's house came into view. Yu-Gi was already outside, waiting for her. He waved and called out when he saw her. "Good morning, Anzu!"  
  
"Hi, Yu-Gi. Ready to go?" Anzu replied, putting on a cheerful, fake smile. She didn't want Yu-Gi worrying over her...  
  
"Yep! Let's go!" The two began walking to school.  
  
- - -  
  
"Class, before you leave, there is one more thing to be done!!" Anzu's math teacher, Ms. Murasaki, shouted above all the noise of the classroom. People were lined up at the door, shuffling their things and chatting. There were two minutes before the final bell of the day would ring. Then the students of Domino High would finally be released to a long-awaited spring break.  
  
Silence fell upon the class as heads turned towards the teacher, curious to hear what she would say. Ms. Murasaki was standing in front of the line, holding a stack of papers.  
  
"I wonder what she has to say," Yu-Gi whispered eagerly to Anzu. Anzu merely smiled and shrugged lightly at him.  
  
"Class, I have graded your math tests from Wednesday. Please get them signed and corrected for two extra points," Ms. Murasaki said, passing out the exams.  
  
Anzu smiled when Yu-Gi showed her his 94. However, her smile immediately turned upside down as she received her test. '87! I am so dead...' She forced a smile, showing Yu-Gi her test.  
  
"Good job, Anzu!" Yu-Gi grinned innocently. Anzu accepted his compliment with another false smile.  
  
Just then, the bell rang, and students poured out into the hallways from all directions. The gang also made their way out, eager to embark on a well-deserved spring vacation.  
  
- - -  
  
"Um, Mom?" Anzu asked timidly, stepping into her mother's bedroom, where she was intently scribbling replies to bills and other such letters.  
  
"Yes?" Mrs. Mazaki replied shortly.  
  
"Um...Can you...sign this?" Anzu asked hesitantly, holding out her math test.  
  
Mrs. Mazaki sighed irritably and took the test. Her face immediately hardened when she saw the B.  
  
"What did I say about getting a B...?!" Mrs. Mazaki spoke in a deadly tone.  
  
Anzu rolled her eyes as her mother began lecturing/shouting at her about how schoolwork was her first priority, blah, blah, blah...  
  
Anzu was really tired of her mom's stupid speeches about schoolwork. "Yeah, sure, whatever," she said coldly, uninterested, when her mother had finished babbling.  
  
Mrs. Mazaki slapped her harshly on her arm and shoved the now signed test to her. Anzu flinched as pain shot up through her arm from where her mother had struck her on her wounded arm. She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, though, so her mother was unaware of the real pain she had caused.  
  
"Next time, I'm going to shut down the computer," Mrs. Mazaki threatened.  
  
Anzu rolled her eyes again. 'Bitch...' she thought, stalking out with narrowed eyes. 'Whenever she doesn't get her way, she threatens people. Te, like she could shut down the fucking internet...Her stupid threats are getting old...and pathetic.'  
  
After Anzu had stuffed her math test back into her backpack, she decided to go out and take a walk to cool off her mind. She slipped on some shoes and stepped outside. The cool night air calmed her raging spirit. A light breeze blew past her, ruffling her chocolate brown hair. Anzu took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air, and began to walk towards the park.  
  
- - -  
  
Anzu strolled around, enjoying her peaceful walk in the park. Everything was still and silent. Anzu found a bench and sat down, tilting her head upwards slightly to observe the night sky. Stars twinkled down on her. It was a very beautiful sight.  
  
Suddenly, an arm found its way around Anzu's neck. She tried to scream out, but another hand clapped itself over her mouth. Her attacker dragged her towards a tree and slammed her against the trunk. Her mouth was roughly claimed, and Anzu felt large hands running up and down her figure. Her eyes widened and she tried to kick the disgusting thug off of her, but his weight kept her pinned against the tree. The man smirked and chuckled slightly before he started to unbutton her skirt and slide it down her legs.  
  
Tears started to stream down Anzu's face. She cried out hoarsely, choking on her own tears. "Help...! Somebody, please help!!"  
  
"Heh, stupid girl. Nobody's gonna hear you." Her attacker struck her on the cheek, leaving a huge, red bruise. He then proceeded in ripping her shirt apart and began unclasping her bra when he was suddenly sent sprawling on the ground, out cold. Anzu slid down the tree and collapsed in a sobbing, torn heap on the ground.  
  
"Anzu! Are you all right?!" Anzu heard a soft, gentle voice call out to her. She lifted her head, staring dumbly. Her vision was going blurry. She finally gave in and went unconscious...  
  
~*~  
  
Okie...Terribly sorry if it got...er...ehe...rowdy...near the end...;;; Well, please review and tell me what you think! Thanks! 


	3. Explanations, and Worse

Hey, guys! I'm back, with another chapter of my demented fic! ^^;;; Well, here are the thank-you's...  
  
Ruki Lee/Rika Wong--You'll find out who it is in this chapter...^_~  
  
fdsgfds--Hmm...Maybe. -mysterious smile- Thank you! I think my writing style is sometimes over-descriptive...^^;;  
  
Knight_Lancer--Thank you for the review! Yeah...There are actually lots of fics where Anzu's raped. o_o  
  
K-chan--Thank you very much!  
  
sb1--Yeah...-shudders- I know I probably wouldn't even be sane after that type of ordeal...  
  
lili--Me too! My mom won't let me date a guy until like, college. Says "guys are dangerous". -rolls eyes- O_O I think your first fic was great! Oh, and speaking of that, please update your fics! I'm dying to know what happens next! And I'll keep your advice in mind, thanks! I hope you like this chappie! ^_^  
  
karigan--Thank you so much! It's such an honor to be on someone's favorites list!  
  
Premium Fist---______-;; Thank you very much, friend.  
  
blu sprite--Lol Ow! -brushing paperclips out of her eyes-  
  
Tiger5913--Hmm...Sorry, but it might not necessarily be Yu-Gi...  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
Right...Let's get started, then!  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
Chapter Three: Explanations...and Worse  
  
Anzu slowly opened her eyes. She blinked a couple of times to clear her blurry vision. She sat up, taking in her surroundings. She was lying on a couch, with a blanket covering her. She was dressed in a white button-up shirt and jeans, both of which were slightly baggy for her.  
  
'Where...am I?' Anzu turned her head, and with a start, recognized the sleeping form of Ryou next to her. His long white bangs partly covered his innocent eyes. He was sleeping soundly, half of his body draped over the couch. He was clutching Anzu's right hand. It was then that Anzu realized her hand was within Ryou's grasp. She quickly slipped her hand from his grip, blushing deeply.  
  
'He looks so cute and angelic when he's sleeping...' Anzu found herself fantasizing about Ryou. She blushed an even deeper red and mentally berated herself for thinking such thoughts about her friend.  
  
Ryou suddenly stirred, opening his eyes. He yawned slightly and stood up and stretched. Then, he was back by Anzu's side, staring at her with concerned hazel eyes. "Are you all right, Anzu?"  
  
Anzu felt herself turn pink. "U-Um...Yeah...Thank you for saving me," Anzu stuttered in reply.  
  
"You're welcome. Oh, and I called your mother and told her you were staying at a friend's house, so you don't need to worry about her." Ryou smiled sweetly, but then frowned slightly, remembering the dangerous incident last night...  
  
~*Flashback*~  
  
Ryou was out taking his usual nightly stroll around the park. The cool night breeze whipped his snowy white hair around.  
  
"Help...!" he heard a familiar voice cry out. He stopped in his tracks, listening intently.  
  
"Somebody, please help!!" the voice screamed again. Ryou instantly recognized the voice as his friend, Anzu. He began running franticly towards the source of the voice. Sure enough, he saw Anzu pinned to a tree by a large, bulky thug. The man was ripping Anzu's shirt apart, beginning to unhook her bra...  
  
Without thinking, Ryou flung his fist at the assaulter, sending him onto the ground, unconscious. He then turned to look down at Anzu, who had slid down the tree to sob brokenly on the ground.  
  
"Anzu! Are you all right?!" But Anzu only went unconscious also. She had a large red bruise on her cheek where Ryou guessed the rapist must've struck her. Frowning worriedly and angrily, he scooped the half-naked girl up in his arms and ran with her all the way back home.  
  
~*End Flashback*~  
  
"Anzu...?" Ryou asked slowly.  
  
Anzu looked at him with inquisitive cerulean blue eyes. "Yes, Ryou...?"  
  
~*Flashback*~  
  
Ryou gasped as he saw the scars on Anzu's pale, thin arms. He would certainly have to discuss this with Anzu in the morning...Ryou went back to putting some clothes on Anzu. However, he couldn't help but notice her beautiful curves and the graceful features of her body. He blushed a deep crimson, and shook his head, silently scolding himself for thinking such thoughts about one of his friends.  
  
~*End Flashback*~  
  
Ryou turned slightly pink at the memory, but quickly brushed it off, putting a serious face. "Anzu...Why were you...cutting yourself?" he asked a bit hesitantly.  
  
Anzu's eyes widened. 'Oh no...! He must've seen my arms because that creep ripped my shirt apart!' Anzu though in dismay. She knew better than to lie to Ryou, though, so she told him everything. About her mom, her turbulent emotions...everything.  
  
Ryou sat and listened in utter shock. Anzu was always such a cheerful girl...He had no idea she was hiding such dark secrets. "A-Anzu...I'm so sorry...!"  
  
Anzu sniffled and cracked a small smile. "It's okay, Ryou...I feel better by talking to you."  
  
Ryou also smiled. "I'm glad..." His face turned serious. "Anzu...Please don't cut yourself anymore!"  
  
Anzu got up from the couch and walked over to the front door. Ryou watched on in anxiety, waiting for her answer.  
  
"Ryou...I appreciate your hospitality and kindness, but..." Anzu looked away from Ryou sadly. "I don't know if I can...I'm sorry. Goodbye..." She walked outside, closing the door behind her. Anzu closed her eyes, sighing deeply. Opening her eyes, she started walking back home...  
  
- - -  
  
Anzu opened the door, making it creak. She stepped in, closing it behind her. The silence was getting eerie...  
  
"Mom? Is anybody home?" Anzu called out. Her voice seemed to echo dismally into the dark house. Anzu shivered and switched a light on. She then noticed a note on the kitchen counter. Walking over, she read it curiously.  
  
Anzu,  
  
I'm out shopping for groceries. I'll be back soon. By the way, I hope you had fun at your friend's house.  
  
Love,  
  
Mom  
  
Just then, the phone rang, startling Anzu. She picked it up and greeted, "Hello, Anzu Mazaki speaking. May I help you?"  
  
"Ah...Anzu," a kind woman--around her twenties, judging by her voice-- answered. "Anzu...I am very sorry to tell you this...but your mother is dead."  
  
Anzu gasped, the phone slowly sliding out of her grasp.  
  
~*~  
  
Ahh...So the plot thickens! ^^;; Okay, I hope this chapter wasn't too screwed up..._ Ahhh!!! I totally destroyed Ryou's personality!! 


	4. Welcome to Hell

Okie, I'm back! x.x; Sorry for the crappy title of this chapter, guys. And I'm warning you guys...This chapter gets...fairly disgusting. I'm sorry if anyone's made to puke after this...u_u  
  
Leigh--Well...I'm just really afraid of totally screwing up Ryou's personality...so it's kinda hard to get this romance in there. ^^;;  
  
sb1--Yep...I agree with you. But I'm afraid it's just going to get worse...You'll see in this chapter.  
  
K-chan--Thank you! Yeah...It's really sad. But Anzu's life will still get worse...:(  
  
blu sprite--Yep, I don't think Ryou would punch anyone at all. Lol Thanks.  
  
River-Star--Well...You know, Anzu couldn't ever really hate her mom, completely. She's not the type of bitchy, ungrateful type of daughter, know what I mean?  
  
NOTtheBRIGHTESTcrayon--Erm...Come again? O_O  
  
Kari--Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter...  
  
lili--That's okay. Ff.net can be a bit irritating at times, ne? Hmm...Perhaps having your mom die. I don't know...Neither has happened to me before.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
  
Chapter Four: Welcome to Hell  
  
"Anzu?! Anzu?! Hello, are you still there?" The woman at the other end was franticly trying to get back to Anzu.  
  
Anzu snapped out of her paralyzed state and, with trembling fingers, reached to pick up the phone, which was being suspended in the air by its cord. "U-Um, yes. I'm sorry, I was just so shocked," Anzu answered, voice shaking slightly.  
  
"I'm very sorry, dear," the lady said sympathetically. "You will be moving into your stepfather's house. I believe he will be coming to collect you at...10:00. Good bye, and I hope you feel better soon."  
  
"Thank you. Good bye." Anzu placed the phone back on the receiver, her hands shaking very badly now. She was going to live with her stepfather?!  
  
"Ohhh...Lord, just kill me now..." Anzu moaned to herself. She was going to live with her stepfather, who was an extremely lecherous old man, about 67 years old already. It disgusted her to call a 67-year-old geezer, who was old enough to be her grandpa, 'Dad'. Her mother had divorced with her real father and later, married her stepfather. Anzu had a strong suspicion that her mother had only married the old man for the money. The guy was filthy rich--almost as rich as Kaiba. He owned a practical mansion, and had bedecked it with all kinds of classy furniture and collectibles of sorts.  
  
Anzu groaned and quickly checked the microwave's clock. 8:57. 'I better get ready...' She slowly climbed up to her room and began putting all of her clothes in a duffel bag, still in sort of a trance. Memories flashed back to her, reminding her over and over again of the new problems she faced.  
  
~*Flashback*~  
  
"Daddy, can we get this?" a six-year-old Anzu asked her stepfather eagerly, holding up a large horse plushie. The two were shopping at the toy store.  
  
"Sure, honey." He took the plushie and they walked over to a check-out counter. He purchased it, and the two walked outside, towards the car.  
  
"Thank you, Daddy!! I love you!" Anzu squealed, hugging her new plushie and smiling widely and innocently up at the old man.  
  
"How much?" her stepfather replied, grinning.  
  
"Lots and lots!" Anzu shouted, beaming and laughing.  
  
"When we get home, show me." They climbed into his fancy Lincoln towncar and drove off.  
  
- - -  
  
Upon arriving at the old man's mansion, Anzu's stepfather led her into his room. He sat down on his chair at his desk and motioned for Anzu to sit on his lap. Anzu climbed onto his lap, still clutching her horse plushie.  
  
"How much do you love me?" he whispered huskily.  
  
Anzu, being the naïve and innocent little girl that she currently was, replied cheerfully, "Lots and lots!" She giggled and squeezed her plushie.  
  
"Show me." He began cupping her young breasts in his large, hairy hands, and other such ministrations. "Does this feel good?"  
  
Young Anzu nodded slowly, not really knowing what she was doing. She thought she would hurt her stepfather's feelings if she said no, or get in trouble.  
  
"Don't tell anyone about this. It's our little secret." And Anzu didn't. For she thought she would get into trouble.  
  
~*End Flashback*~  
  
Anzu closed her eyes, stopping halfway through closing up her duffel bag. 'Mom...if you were still alive, I could've told you. Now you're gone, and I can't tell anybody. All because of some stupid thought...' Tears welled up in her eyes, but Anzu brushed them away angrily. She sat on the edge of her bed, her duffel bag clutched close to her chest. She began meditatively thinking about the past...  
  
'I was so naïve then. I literally let him toy around with me. And I guess...him buying me things and being all nice and flowery to me is worse than if he tortured me and beat me...so it's like he deserves the privilege to do those nasty things...' Anzu shuddered at the thought.  
  
Suddenly, the sound of the front door being opened and closed reached Anzu's ears. Her heart stopped when she heard an all-too-familiar voice call up to her.  
  
"Anzu? Let's go!"  
  
Anzu took a deep breath and shouted back, voice trembling slightly, "Okay! I'll be down in a minute!!" Anzu made her way to a drawer in her desk and slid it open. It contained the knife that she had sneaked into her room from the kitchen. She slipped it into her duffel bag and ran downstairs.  
  
"Hey, how's my baby doing??" Anzu stepfather greeted cheerfully.  
  
Anzu could only smile weakly as she was led to the familiar Lincoln towncar and driven away to her new home. Her insides recoiled and her skin crawled. This was going to be an even more hellish life from now on...  
  
~*~  
  
Okay...I feel the need to barf from my own fic...Everybody all right? Sorry...x.x; But it is rated R for a reason...;;; 


	5. Shattered Spirit

Here's the fifth chappie! x.x; Okay, it gets really disturbing in this chapter...I doubt you'd want to even review after this...;;;  
  
sb1--o.o I thought the flashback was enough to give you sort of an idea...Well, sorry if I didn't exactly tell you last chapter...This one will answer you question. -pause- A little...too much. ;;;  
  
Blu Sprite--Thanks...Ahh, I'm so ashamed I wrote such a gross fic! _  
  
K-chan--I know...! Eww, I can't believe I wrote such a thing!! Yes, Ryou will be the one to help her out.  
  
Kari--^_^ You got it! I'll keep writing till the end! Hehe...Yeah, writing an R for my first fic wasn't my intention, but...it kinda just...I got inspired, so I just wrote it. ^^;;  
  
karigan--Thank you! That's okay, I don't mind! OMG...No...I know this is R, but this is to the point that it's not funny anymore...! So no...Anzu won't get raped.  
  
L.W. (lone wolf)--^^ Thank you so much! Hey, that's a good idea...I might actually make him have a heart attack...Lol  
  
C. M. Dracoon--Sorry it was too short...I kinda just wanted to like, introduce the new life Anzu's going to have.  
  
DigimonPrincess Shinaka--^^;; Yeah...I'm going to become afraid of my own fic! x.x;  
  
lili--^^;;; Sorry! I had to add to Anzu's problems...Yeah, I'll try to describe Anzu's stepfather in this chapter.  
  
Lisa--Yep, sorry. ^^; It's not my favorite part of the story, either, but I promise this is the last chapter with stuff like that in it.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
  
Chapter Five: Shattered Spirit  
  
"Okay, we're here! Why don't you go and unpack in your room?" Anzu's stepfather said cheerfully. He lightly hit her rump, pushing her towards her new bedroom. Anzu made a disgusted face, but happily complied. Anything to be away from that lecher...  
  
- - -  
  
"Anzu!" Anzu's stepfather called from the kitchen. Anzu finished stowing away the last bit of her clothes into her drawers.  
  
"What?!" she shouted back, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Hey, if this guy was going to be a pervert, she didn't have to be nice to him.  
  
"Come help me cook lunch!"  
  
Anzu growled lightly. "Coming!" she yelled irritably. The other bad thing about the old man was that he couldn't seem to be able to say 'Please', or 'Thank you'.  
  
Anzu stalked into the kitchen and asked stiffly, "What should I do?"  
  
Anzu's stepfather seemed unperturbed by her rudeness. "Would you cut these carrots?" He handed her a cutting knife.  
  
Anzu took it, and for a moment, the knife seemed to have a strange allure. Anzu stared at the blade for what seemed like forever, contemplating whether she should drive it through her arm right then and there...  
  
Anzu shook her head, and begin slicing the carrots into neat pieces. A few minutes into her cutting, Anzu's stepfather reached over her to get some spices from the cabinet above her. She felt a large, hard object being pressed against her ass. It left though, as soon as her stepfather had collected the spices he needed. Anzu shuddered inwardly and swiftly cut up the remaining carrots.  
  
"Okay, now what?" she asked quickly, before she threw up.  
  
"Come here and stir this clam chowder," her stepfather instructed.  
  
Anzu obeyed and begin stirring. She lost herself in the swirling motions the spoon was making in the soup. This was going to be a long spring break...  
  
- - -  
  
After lunch, Anzu had been left to her own devices for about an hour. Now, her stepfather was calling her into his room...  
  
Anzu walked in slowly, getting a nauseating sense of déjà vu. When she had stopped right in front of him, he pulled her onto his lap, grinning lecherously. Anzu gulped, the feeling of déjà vu becoming stronger.  
  
"How much do you love me?" he whispered.  
  
"Lots," Anzu muttered dejectedly. This was all a bad nightmare...She'd wake up soon enough...  
  
"Show me." A hairy hand snaked up her blouse and under her bra, fondling her breasts. Anzu grit her teeth and narrowed her eyes at her stepfather's large, round stomach, fighting back tears. She let him continue his tormenting for a while longer before she finally couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
"U-Um...I have to go. Bye." Anzu's voice cracked, and she sped out of the room. She decided to take a shower. She gathered some clean clothes and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She quietly stripped, shivering slightly when the cold A/C air brushed against her skin. Anzu slid open the glass doors of the shower and turned the water on to medium temperature. She stepped inside, allowing the warm water to wash away her fears and pain.  
  
A tear dropped onto her hand. Anzu realized she was crying, but made no move to stop the flowing tears. They splashed down from her azure eyes, mixing in with the shower water. Anzu felt so, so dirty. She couldn't tell anyone, not now. And she was too afraid to tell her stepfather to stop. Anzu shuddered as dark thoughts clouded her mind. 'Mom...I wish you were here to help me...'  
  
- - -  
  
Blood poured from the gash on her arm. Anzu held her cutting knife in one hand, smiling insanely. Somehow, she felt comforted by the familiar pain. She reveled in it...To her, it was the only way to escape the harsh reality of her life...  
  
And so the pattern began...Every day, at some point, Anzu would get called to her stepfather's room. There, he would lecherously torment her until Anzu finally gathered the courage to excuse herself. She would then head to her room, take a shower, and cut herself. Anzu was slowly being drawn further and further into the darkness and unhealthy depression, and she hardly noticed it...  
  
She had stopped eating much. She hardly slept at all, because she wept every night for her utter misfortune. She became pale, thin, and weary. Her bright blue eyes became dim, the light in them gone. Of course, her stepfather didn't notice any of this, or didn't make a comment; he was probably too busy being a pervert.  
  
- - -  
  
Finally, after a long, long time, spring break ended. Anzu hoisted her backpack up, and began walking into the school. Behind her, her stepfather drove off in his fancy car.  
  
Inside Domino High, Anzu emptied her backpack, grabbed her science books, and headed feebly into the science room. She was greeted by a cheerful Yu- Gi, along with the rest of the gang.  
  
"Hi, Anzu! How was your spring break?" Yu-Gi asked happily. He immediately regretted his question as Anzu looked at him with sorrowful, puffy red eyes.  
  
"My mother died." Anzu took a seat, staring down at her hands, which were folded in her lap.  
  
"Anzu...I'm so sorry..." Yu-Gi reached over and patted her hand sympathetically.  
  
Anzu sniffed. "It's okay, Yu-Gi."  
  
Just then, the first bell of the day rang, signaling the start of first period.  
  
"Settle down, class, settle down," Mrs. Takeshi said. Once everyone had quieted down, she announced, "Now, let's review for our astronomy test this Thursday. Everybody, please take out your study guides. You should have completed them over spring break."  
  
The sound of shuffling papers was heard as the students took out their study guides.  
  
"Yu-Gi, the first question, please. Describe Mercury."  
  
Yu-Gi nodded and said, "Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun. It is the second smallest planet, and the fastest in orbiting the Sun. Its name is derived from its speed..."  
  
Anzu listened intently, but felt herself growing weak and unable to maintain consciousness. Her eyes slid in and out of focus, and she had to fight to keep them open. Anzu couldn't stay awake anymore...She faded to unconsciousness, falling out of her seat.  
  
"Anzu!!" Ryou shot out of his seat, catching her before she hit the ground. "Anzu? Are you all right? Anzu!!!" He then noticed her pulse beating very faintly, and her labored breathing.  
  
~*~  
  
Okay, that was really bad, don't kill me!! ;.; Anyways, please review, if you feel up to it. ._. 


	6. Live or Die

Sorry I took so long! I was sleeping over at a friend's house. ^^;; Well, here's the next chappie...  
  
lili--Hmm...I'll give you a hint in this chapter. -wink-  
  
K-chan--Thankies! But I'm starting to be highly disturbed by my own fic...o_o;;;  
  
C. M. Dracoon--OMG, but don't you think I kinda overdid the gross stuff? ;;;  
  
sb1--Lol Yeah, you've reviewed every chapter of my fic so far! Thank you!  
  
blu sprite--Mm...Sorry...I've already decided how I'll end this fic...  
  
karigan--Thank you! Man, I was worried people would think I was a nut, writing disturbing things such as this.  
  
L. W. (Lone Wolf) --Lol Interesting review...I hope you like this chappie. ^_^  
  
DigimonPrincess Shinaka--Yes, that was the last chapter of the...stuff. -sweatdrop-  
Tasha--OMG, I am so honored to be reviewed by you!! :D Your fics are really great! And to answer your questions...Anzu's mom died in a car crash while she was shopping. Well, her parents divorced, and then her mom married the other guy. And her dad would've been far away from her anyways. o.o;; Dunno why Anzu's mom didn't live with her stepdad...  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
  
Chapter Six: Death is Near  
  
Anzu slowly opened her clouded eyes. All she could see was white...It was everywhere. She blinked, her sense of sight coming back to her. She was in a hospital. All sorts of tubes and wires were connected to her.  
  
At that moment, a young nurse carrying a tray of food entered the room. She looked over at Anzu and smiled gently. "I see you're awake, Anzu. How are you feeling?"  
  
Anzu sat up carefully, so as not to break her wires and tubes, and replied, "Fine, thank you." But she didn't feel fine. Her entire body ached all over, and she was weak from malnutrition. As if on cue, her stomach rumbled loudly. Anzu blushed. "Sorry..."  
  
The nurse giggled slightly and walked over, placing the tray of food on a small bedside table next to Anzu's bed. "Here. Have something to eat."  
  
Anzu gratefully grabbed half of the ham sandwich on the tray. "Thank you." She nibbled a little on the sandwich and immediately felt the food replenishing her strength. "Um...Nurse...?"  
  
"Yes, Anzu?"  
  
"How did I get here...?" Anzu asked, looking confused.  
  
The nurse smiled. "A friend of yours--Ryou--came rushing in with you in his arms. He said you fainted at school...Poor dear. He's been waiting anxiously in the waiting room. I'll call him in, okay?"  
  
Anzu nodded and went back to her food. Moments later, a worried looking Ryou came in. "Anzu!! Are you feeling well?!"  
  
Anzu smiled, the first genuine smile in a long time. "I'm fine, Ryou...Thanks to you," she answered softly, a faint blush coming to her cheeks.  
  
Ryou took a seat on a chair beside her bed. "I'm glad..." he said, taking her hand and smiling cutely. Anzu's eyes widened and she blushed even harder, and turned her head away to hide her burning cheeks. They stayed that way for quite some time, before Ryou announced, "Well, I've got to get back to school. I'll come by again later tonight, all right?"  
  
"Uhh...Okay." Anzu nodded. Ryou smiled again, and excused himself from the room, leaving Anzu to ponder her puzzling feelings.  
  
- - -  
  
Ryou opened the door to Anzu's hospital room. Seeing that she was sound asleep (it was 9:00), he silently took a chair beside Anzu's bed. He quietly sat and just observed his friend's beautiful features. Her face was regaining its natural creamy color and was fuller, since Anzu had had a few square meals throughout the day. A strand of her auburn hair covered her face. Ryou gently reached over and tucked it behind her ear, smiling lovingly at her fascinating beauty. He sat back once more and stared for a moment longer before sleep overtook him.  
  
- - -  
  
Ryou was awakened at 7:00 in the morning by a doctor rushing in with two nurses close behind her. They were rolling a cot into the room. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and stood up.  
  
The doctor approached him and introduced herself, shaking his hand. "Hello. My name is Dr. Masami. You must be Anzu's friend from school, Ryou. It's a pleasure to meet you," she said briskly before turning to Anzu.  
  
Ryou nodded and looked towards Anzu. It was then that he noticed Anzu thrashing about in her bed, perspiring heavily. He turned back to Dr. Masami with a worried look. "Dr. Masami...What's wrong with Anzu?"  
  
The doctor sighed wearily and replied, "After you brought her in, we found that she has a strange heart disease connected with her depression. We must now perform surgery on her, and if that fails, she has six months to live."  
  
Ryou felt his heart stop. Six months to live?! He found himself imagining the impossible life he might have to live without her. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Dr. Masami's voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ryou. But will you please step out while we get Anzu to the surgery room? I'm sure you have school to go to anyways." She smiled gently and encouragingly.  
  
Ryou nodded understandingly and walked outside, his heart heavy. He leaned against the wall and sighed deeply. He was terrified by the thought of living without Anzu in his life. Ryou watched with pained hazel eyes as the doctor and two nurses came out of Anzu's former room, wheeling Anzu's cot past him, down the hall. He sighed again and made his way out the hospital. He still had to tell Yu-Gi and the gang the news...  
  
~*~  
  
-gasp- Finally! The chappie's done! I hope you guys liked it, after the long days without an update! ^_~ Please review! 


	7. A New Beginning

Well, we've made it all the way! This is the last chapter, guys! ^_^ First of all, though, I want to give all of you reviewers a BIG thanks! Fifty-eight reviews!! Thank you so much, everybody, for reviewing! I love you all! 3  
  
L. W. (Lone Wolf) --Lol I can see why your humor fics have so many reviews...:)  
  
sb1--:D Thanks! Hmm...What do you think the answer is going to be?  
  
K-chan--Hehe, yeah, me too...but do you seriously think I'd kill Anzu?  
  
Star Girl--^^ Thank you! Hmm...Well, this is the first time I've written a fic, let alone Angst, so I didn't really think I'd be good at making people cry. -sweatdrop- Lol You can stop rereading now, 'cause here's the last chappie! Enjoy!  
  
lili--That's okay. Just as long as you review! ^_^ Eh? I thought I took long...I mean, it's...five or six days later!  
  
C. M. Dracoon--Well, you pretty much know what's gonna happen in this chapter by the -cough- crappy title. You'll see where Anzu's stepfather is in this chapter...  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
  
~*~  
  
Searching for the Light  
  
Chapter Seven: A New Beginning  
  
Ryou paced around anxiously in the waiting room. It was a Tuesday afternoon, after school. The whole gang was there, including Mai, who Joey seemed to have succeeded in courting.  
  
"She should be done any time now. Don't worry, Ryou. I'm sure she's fine," Yu-Gi said, trying to comfort his friend.  
  
Moments later, a nurse approached the apprehensively waiting group. She smiled a bit, as if to reassure the extremely worried friends that everything was all right.  
  
"How is she?" Ryou asked breathlessly, anxiety flashing in his mahogany eyes.  
  
The nurse smiled at him. "Your friend is doing just fine. We were able to cure her, but she will have to stay in the hospital for about two weeks, at the most. You may go see her, if you like." The nurse smiled once more, extending her arm in the direction of Anzu's hospital room.  
  
Ryou breathed a sigh of relief, and nodded.  
  
"C'mon, let's go, guys!" shouted Joey enthusiastically, jumping ahead, happy for Anzu's survival. The other four sweatdropped slightly at his sheer hyper nature, and followed him into Anzu's room. They were all eager to see how their friend was doing.  
  
"Hello, Anzu. How are you doing?" Yu-Gi asked politely as soon as the group had crowded into Anzu's room.  
  
"Hey, guys! I'm doing great!" Anzu said, smiling brightly. The shine was restored in her sky blue eyes, and she had basically converted back to her regular, cheery old self again.  
  
Yu-Gi grinned, happiness shining in his innocent amethyst eyes. "That's good to hear, Anzu!"  
  
The six friends chatted for quite a while, and before long, it was time for everyone to leave.  
  
"We'll come by again tomorrow, okay? See ya," Joey said, walking out.  
  
Everyone else, in turn, said their goodbyes and left after Joey, until only Mai and Ryou were left.  
  
"Well, I've gotta run as well. Bye, hun," Mai said, and, winking, stepped out, closing the door softly behind her.  
  
So it was that Ryou and Anzu were alone. It was quite for a few moments, before Anzu broke the silence.  
  
"Ryou..." Anzu blushed slightly and looked up at him with glossy eyes, startling Ryou slightly. "Thank you...I wouldn't have survived without you..."  
  
"Anzu...?" Ryou asked uncertainly.  
  
"After the nurses calmed me down, they told me I had to go through surgery for my heart disease. They said if I didn't make it, I'd die in six months. I was so scared..." All this time she had been talking, Anzu had been looking at the wall in front of her. Now, she turned to smile at Ryou. "...but then I thought of you." Ryou's eyes widened. "I guess that's what helped me pull through. So thank you." Finishing her little speech, Anzu stared at her hands, folded in her lap, a light blush across her pretty face.  
  
"I-I...You're welcome." Ryou turned a bit pink at her simple, heartfelt thanks. "Well...I've got to get going. I-I'll come by tomorrow."  
  
Anzu smiled sweetly, like an innocent little child. "Okay, bye Ryou!"  
  
"Goodbye..." Ryou turned and walked out the door, closing the door after him. He nearly bumped into Mai, who had been waiting outside for him.  
  
"So...How was your little chat?" Mai asked, grinning knowingly.  
  
Ryou turned pink and stammered, "I-I don't know what you're talking about, Mai!"  
  
Mai casually slinked an arm around Ryou, winking. "Oh, come on. It's so obvious you two have the hots for each other." She smiled at the flustered expression on Ryou's face.  
  
"...We do not," he mumbled unconvincingly, blushing deeply.  
  
"Now, don't be shy," Mai teased. "...Just tell her." She walked off, leaving Ryou in the hallway, contemplating his feelings.  
  
- - -  
  
Ryou quietly stepped into Anzu's room. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and Anzu only had to stay in the hospital for three more days.  
  
"Hello? Anzu, it's Ryou. I've come to visit--" Ryou was startled by the sight of Anzu crying into her hands. "Anzu, what's wrong?" He rushed to her side and gently hugged her.  
  
Anzu squeezed tightly in return and laid her head against his chest. "I-I- I had a nightmare...H-He...kept trying t-t-to touch me..."  
  
"Who?! Who tried to touch you?!" Ryou suddenly felt very protective of Anzu. Could it be...?  
  
Anzu sniffled, took a deep breath, and told Ryou everything. How that after her mother had died, she'd had to move in with her stepfather...how he constantly touched her...how she'd resorted to depressive cutting...Everything. Ryou listened intently, shocked at what the beautiful angel in his arms was telling him.  
  
"Anzu...I'm sorry..." He tightened his grip on Anzu.  
  
She sniffled and looked up at Ryou, smiling slightly. "Thank you so much for listening to me, Ryou..."  
  
"You're welcome..." he muttered absently, lost in her gaze. They stayed that way in silence for a long time, merely drinking in each other's presence. Slowly, little by little, the distance between their faces grew smaller...Anzu felt warm lips pressing against hers. She was a little surprised that Ryou was making a move, but she closed her eyes, enjoying the kiss.  
  
Ryou, meanwhile, was a little surprised, too, at his own daring. He couldn't say he didn't enjoy it, though...  
  
They held their passionate kiss for a little longer, before they had to pull apart, very reluctantly, for air. Anzu touched her lips with her fingers, mesmerized by the sudden squeeze of love on her heart.  
  
"Ryou...I-I..."  
  
"I love you," Ryou blurted out quickly.  
  
Anzu smiled, her eyes softening. "I...love you too," she admitted, blushing slightly.  
  
"So...Would you like to go out and do something fun once you're out of the hospital?" Ryou asked, smiling sweetly.  
  
Anzu nuzzled noses with him, giggling. "I'd love to."  
  
Suddenly, a nurse walked into the room. "Anzu, I'm sorry to tell you this, but...your stepfather died in a car crash near the local bar. He was drunk, probably from going to the bar. Your aunt Aya will be moving in with you."  
  
Anzu breathed a sigh of relief, though she inwardly shivered a bit at the mention of her stepfather. 'Whew...at least I won't have to go through anymore of that...stuff. Te, he was probably so worried about losing me, his little sex toy, that he went and got himself drunk,' she thought scornfully. She noticed the nurse awaiting her reply, and hurriedly said, "Oh, all right. Thank you for telling me!"  
  
"You're welcome." The nurse looked at Anzu a little strangely, as if wondering why she wasn't the least bit sad, and exited the room, leaving Anzu and Ryou alone once again.  
  
Anzu turned to Ryou with shining eyes full of happiness. "Ryou...I think my life will be perfect from now on." She smiled widely.  
  
"Are you sure you'll be all right?" Ryou asked, voicing his concern. He brushed a hand through her silken tresses, reveling in their softness.  
  
"Yep!" Anzu chirped happily. "Couldn't be better off! I have you as my great, loving boyfriend--" at this, Ryou blushed, "--and my really nice aunt is going to be taking care of me from now on!" She hugged Ryou, and the two fell into a light slumber in each other's arms.  
  
- - -  
  
Anzu stepped out of the hospital with Ryou by her side. She breathed in the fresh air, which she had not experienced for a very long time.  
  
"Ahhh...It feels great to be out again!" she exclaimed happily. She turned to Ryou and smiled. "Let's go to that carnival now, ne?"  
  
"Yes, let's." And the couple made their way towards the carnival. For Anzu, a fresh new start awaited her...  
  
~*~  
  
Wheee, that must've been my longest chapter! Aiiee! I must've totally destroyed Ryou's personality! _ And the kissing scene probably sucked. Well, tell me what you think. I'd appreciate it.  
  
Well, for bye, for now! Until we meet again! ^_~ 


End file.
